Krisan Marotta walks through Colossians 3:18–4:1 and how the gospel reshapes everyday relationships marked by authority and submission. She shows how wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters are all called to act “in the name of the Lord Jesus,” not for self-interest, but as people who belong to Christ.
Key Takeaways
- The exhortations in Colossians 3–4 are about living as if the gospel is true in the most ordinary and pressured parts of our lives.
- To do “everything in the name of the Lord Jesus” means to act as his representative, seeking what he would do if he were physically present.
- In every relationship, whether you have authority or are under authority, your highest obligation is to God, not to your own comfort or power.
- Biblical roles like husband, wife, parent, child, boss and employee are about responsibility and accountability, not about worth, value, or identity.
- Parents, husbands, employers, and all who hold power are warned not to use authority for self-benefit, but to use it in love, justice, and fairness.
- Those under authority are called to obey and submit as an expression of trust in God, not blind trust in human leaders.
- One day, masters and slaves, bosses and employees, parents and children will stand side by side before the same Master. God shows no partiality.
Colossians Background
Colossians: Getting the Gospel Right
Colossians 3:18–4:1 falls in the exhortation section of Paul’s letter. The Colossian church was on the verge of embracing a legalistic gospel. This false gospel claims that believing in Jesus is a good start, but then you must also keep the Old Testament law to maintain your favor with God.
In contrast, Paul urged them to cling to the true gospel they first heard: you are saved by grace through faith, and that is enough. You do not maintain your standing with God by rituals, rules, and external practices. You stand by grace.
In the last part of the letter, Paul starts exhorting them. He is not handing out a list of religious chores so that life will go better. He is pressing them to see something deeper. He wants them to care about their attitudes and values rather than fixating on rituals like when you eat, when you fast, when you rest, or when you work.
Like other New Testament authors, Paul sees a dynamic connection between what we believe and how we live. When we genuinely believe the gospel, it changes daily life. The Holy Spirit teaches us truth which reshapes our choices, values, and actions. That change does not result from external rituals. It grows from faith.
To close his letter, Paul gives a series of exhortations. An exhortation is a strong appeal to do what is right or to take a particular action. He points to situations where what you believe affects how you act. He is exhorting them to act in a way that fits what they claim to believe.
These exhortations are not, “Do these things so that your life will be smoother.” They are, “If you embrace the gospel, it will change your attitudes and motivations, and here is the kind of change you can expect to see.”
08 How the Gospel Changes the Way You Treat People (Colossians 3:8-17)
Let the Word of Christ Dwell in You Richly
Before he gets to specifics, Paul lays down a foundation:
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. -- Colossians 3:16–17
“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly” is the thesis of the whole section.
"Let the word dwell in you richly" means: let the importance of the gospel and all that Jesus taught make a real difference in your life. You claim to believe the gospel. Now let it matter. Let it shape your daily choices so that whatever you do, you act as a representative of Jesus Christ.
There is no point in being physically fit if you are spiritually dead. If I shape my life so that I have a good job, a nurtured family, gourmet meals, a beautifully decorated house, fine wines, and luxury vacations, and I treat the gospel as icing on the cake, then I have missed what is truly important. All that other stuff will burn in the end. What will last is the gospel.
The gospel is not the cherry on top of a full and rich life. The gospel makes life full and rich. We ought to want to think deeply about it and grow in our understanding. One day all the distractions will fall away, and only one thing will have eternal significance.
Acting in the Name of the Lord Jesus
We hear phrases like “do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus” and they can go in one ear and out the other. So what does that actually mean?
To act in the name of someone generally means to act in their place. You act as their representative, with their authority. If a friend cannot be present but gives you a proxy, you act in his name. You represent what he would say and do.
We used to hear this idea in older TV shows. The police would bang on a door and shout, “Open up in the name of the law.” As a private citizen, I cannot demand that you open your door. A police officer can because he represents the law. He is not speaking as your neighbor. He is speaking as an officer of the law, and you respond to him in that role.
In the same way, the apostles acted in the name of Jesus. Jesus is no longer physically present, but they were authorized to speak and act for him. When Paul teaches as an apostle of Jesus Christ, he is not saying, “Listen to me because I am clever or have a religious degree.” He is saying, “Listen to me because I am speaking the message Jesus authorized me to speak. If he were here, this is what he would say.”
As an apostle, Paul acts in the name of Jesus in a unique way. Believers today are not apostles. We do not have that same level of authority. Yet there is still a sense in which we act as representatives of Christ. We can seek to do what he would do if he were in our situation.
Colossians 3:16-17 set up what Paul says next. He has just told us, “whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus.” Now he turns to some practical, relationships and asks, “What does that look like there?”
Authority & Submission
Paul gives us three pairs of relationships:
- Wives and husbands
- Children and parents
- Slaves and masters
Each person in each pair has a role, a responsibility, and an obligation in that relationship. But from God's perspective, they are to apply the same guidelines. Whether you have authority or under authority, you are called to treat the other person as Jesus would treat them in that situation.
Of course, our natural tendency is to resist submission and to abuse authority. We are selfish and sinful, and we tend to act to our own advantage. Paul is calling us to think differently because of the gospel. In any relationship, consider your goal:
- Am I trying to get the best deal for myself right now?
- Am I trying to make my life most comfortable and gain the greatest leverage?
- Or am I acting as if God is in control and I represent Him?
If that is my goal, I will fight submission or use my authority so that it benefits me.
But if I believe the gospel, I gain a different frame of mind. I understand something bigger is at stake. I am acting in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. My ultimate goal ought to be acting as his representative.
With that in mind, Paul walks through three relationships where one person has a measure of authority over the other. In each one, we are called to recognize both what we owe the other person and what we owe God.
Wives and Husbands
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. -- Colossians 3:18–19
Today, there is a lot of confusion about the biblical relationship between husbands and wives. Paul is not saying that the wife should obey her husband as if he were God. He is not saying her husband is her lord in that sense, such that whatever he says goes. Those ideas have been taught, but they seriously distort the biblical view.
Instead, Paul is describing what kind of conduct fits this relationship, just as he does with children and parents, or slaves and masters. It is fitting for children to obey parents. It is fitting for slaves to obey their masters, or in modern terms, for employees to obey their employers. Likewise, there is a time and place where it is fitting for a wife to submit to her husband.
If God said, “Be generous with your money,” you could do that in the name of the Lord. If he said, “Be diligent and not lazy,” you could do that as something fitting in the Lord. In the same way, when God says, “In marriage, here is what is right and fitting behavior,” and you submit to that, you are submitting to God.
Our responses to our spouses are not just responses to them. They are also responses to God.
Paul does not spell out all the details of what a submission and headship look like in this particular passage. He assumes his readers have some understanding of marriage, just as they understand parents and children.
I will summarize what I think the Bible teaches. When two people are in a permanent partnership and they must reach decisions, there must be some way to resolve an impasse. In marriage, I believe Scripture teaches that God has given that "tiebreaker" responsibility to the husband, and God will hold him accountable for how he uses it.
Husband headship means the husband bears responsibility before God for the marriage and the resulting family. If the marriage ultimately falls apart, the husband will be held accountable in a way the wife will not. He carries a particular responsibility to ensure the family thrives.
Marriage: Forming a More Perfect Union
The Bible describes the wife as a helper. Being a helper is recognizing who bears that ultimate responsibility and granting him the freedom to follow his conscience.
So if a husband and wife have done their best. They have prayed, researched, studied, talked, and still cannot reach agreement, then the wife ultimately has the responsibility to say something like, “God will hold you accountable for this decision. We will do it your way.” That is an act of love and trust in God.
It is also important to distinguish obedience to God from obedience to a human being. Where I am sure God is speaking, I should obey unquestioningly. Abraham’s willingness to sacrifice Isaac is the classic example. He may not have understood why God commanded it, but he was convinced that it was God speaking, so he obeyed until God intervened.
No wife is called to treat her husband like that. No child is called to treat a parent like that. No employee is called to treat a boss like that. They are not God.
As a wife, it is not that I take my husband’s word as infallible and never to be questioned. My husband would be the first to say that. But I do recognize that God has given him a particular responsibility in our marriage that is different from mine, and I want to help him carry it.
Submission, then, is an act of love. If I block him from fulfilling something God holds him responsible to do, that is rebellion, and God will hold me accountable for that too.
So if, after doing our honest best, my husband and I reached a genuine stalemate, I would acknowledge his responsibility and submit. I would say, “We will do it your way,” as an act of grace and love, trusting God.
That is very different from the idea that “whatever he says goes” or that he should win every tiny decision, like where we eat dinner. Being responsible does not mean you get to be a tyrant.
Paul’s entire point is that whether you are in authority or under it, your actions should be shaped by the gospel and by acting as Jesus would act.
“Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” Being harsh is abusing authority. This call to love is not primarily about romantic feelings. It is about how you treat your wife. Jesus can say, “love your enemies,” not because he expects warm feelings, but because he calls us to treat them in a certain way.
So the husband is called to use his family authority in a way that seeks what is best for his wife and family before God. Abuse of authority is a timeless temptation. Paul is saying, “Yes, that is your natural tendency, but before God, you are duty bound to love your wife, not your own comfort.”
In Ephesians, Paul expands on this and compares a husband’s calling to Christ’s love for the church, even to the point of giving up his life. Jesus chose to die for his people because that is what was best for them.
For both husband and wife, then, the relationship is not about who wins. It is about serving, loving, and acting in the name of the Lord, rather than in the name of self.
Children and Parents
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. -- Colossians 3:20–21
Again, Paul is dealing with responsibility. Children have an obligation to obey their parents. Parents have an obligation to seek their children’s good.
Parents are responsible to care for children, teach them, raise them wisely, and point them in the right direction. Children can respond to that authority in two very different ways. They can try to get away with as much as possible, and treat the parents’ authority as something to dodge. Left to ourselves, that is what we all do. Or they can submit.
Paul says, “Children, recognize that God gave your parents authority for your welfare. Acknowledge that.” When a mother says, “You need to do this because I am your mom,” she is appealing to that God-given responsibility and asking the child to respect it.
Of course, just as with husbands, parents can easily use their authority to serve themselves. No parent is perfect. The challenge is to learn to discipline in a way that trains and guides, rather than simply enforces control.
Paul warns fathers “not to provoke” their children, “lest they become discouraged.” That word has the sense of breaking their spirit, causing them to lose heart. You can enforce your will so harshly and so selfishly that you crush your child rather than train them.
Parents usually hold the upper hand. They are older, bigger, and more experienced. They have more resources and more wisdom, especially when children are young. That makes it very easy to abuse authority.
Paul calls us to think about how Jesus would love these children. He calls us to use our authority not as a tool to get our own way, but as a tool to train children in the love and knowledge of Christ.
Slaves and Masters
Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, treat your slaves justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven. -- Colossians 3:22–4:1
In Paul’s world, slavery was a fact of life. He does not denounce it here, but he does not bless it either. For our purposes, it is helpful to think of his instructions as applying to the workplace, to employees and employers, even though the historical realities are not identical.
By this stage of Roman history, slavery was more humane than in earlier times and probably more humane than American slavery before the Civil War. It was a basic economic structure. Slaves could sometimes buy their freedom. Yet, as with any authority relationship, there was plenty of room for abuse.
Paul likely understood that Christians were not going to overthrow slavery in his day. So he focuses on a different question. If you find yourself in this situation, as someone who owns slaves or as someone who is one, how should you live as a believer?
He gives more space to this pair than to husbands and wives or parents and children, probably because the master–slave relationship had the least expectation of love. Society did not pressure masters to seek the welfare of their slaves the way it pressured parents to care for children or husbands to love their wives. Cultural expectations did not pull them toward mercy.
Yet Paul says that God calls masters to justice and fairness and calls slaves to sincere obedience.
To those in the position of slaves, or to modern employees, Paul says: Obey your earthly masters. Not with superficial “eye-service,” the kind of work you do only when people are watching, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. He reminds them:
- Your real Master is the Lord Christ.
- Ultimately, he is the one who placed you where you are.
- He is the one you truly serve.
- Your destiny and welfare are in his hands, not in your boss’s.
Your boss can make things hard for you here and now. But his opinion is not final. God’s judgment is. As Jesus said, fear the One who can destroy both body and soul in hell, not the one who can only kill the body.
Then he adds a warning that cuts both ways: “For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality.”
No partiality is the key phrase. Neither the oppressor nor the oppressed get a free pass. One day you will stand side by side before your heavenly Master and both of you will be judged fairly and impartially for your actions. The same Lord stands over both roles, and he judges without partiality.
Each of us has been called by God to live in service to him in whatever situation we find ourselves. Each of us will answer for our choices.
When Paul turns to masters, he says, “Treat your slaves justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.”
He is speaking directly to those with power. They do not have a blank check. They are answerable to God too. Slaves are not tools for personal gain. Employees are not merely instruments for your profit. They are human beings made in the image of God.
Masters are called to start asking different questions: What is just? What is fair? What is right in God’s eyes in this relationship?
In ancient Rome, as more and more Christian masters began to think of themselves as under God’s authority and their slaves as his image-bearers, the institution of slavery itself began to look very different. Asking what is fair and just was, historically, a step on the path toward dismantling slavery.
Living Every Relationship for God
In all three situations, Paul’s main idea is the same. Live in every relationship as if you are living for God. Let the word of Christ dwell richly within you. Let it shape your attitudes and actions.
When you think about the daily choices you face, do not treat the other person only as a problem, a barrier, or a tool to help you get your way. Ask instead:
- How would God call me to act rightly and wisely in this situation?
- What would it mean to act in the name of the Lord Jesus here?
- What does it look like to trust God and love my neighbor in this role?
God has a higher and prior claim on your life than any human relationship. He wants you to learn how to live for him, whether you are a husband or a wife, a child or a parent, a boss or an employee.
Whatever authority you hold, you hold it as His representative. Whatever submission you offer, you offer it as His servant. In both cases, you are ultimately serving the Lord Christ.
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Season 27, Episode 11
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