In 2 Corinthians 7:2–16, the Apostle Paul reflects on a painful moment in his relationship with the Corinthian church where he chose to speak hard truth out of love. His “sorrowful letter” caused grief, but it also sparked repentance and renewed connection. This passage offers profound insight into how godly sorrow can produce lasting spiritual change.
In this week’s episode, we explore:
- Why Paul wrote a sorrowful letter instead of visiting in person.
- How the Corinthians responded and what it revealed about their hearts.
- The difference between godly grief and worldly sorrow.
- What Titus reported back to Paul and why it mattered.
- How we can apply Paul’s approach when facing difficult conversations today.
By listening, you’ll gain a richer understanding of how confrontation, when done with humility and love, can strengthen relationships and deepen faith. Krisan Marotta walks through the text with clarity and insight, helping you see how Scripture speaks into real-life challenges.
Godly Grief and Worldly Sorrow (2 Corinthians 7:2-16)
When should you say the hard thing that might upset your friend but also bring repentance and reconciliation, and when should you stay silent? How do you tell godly grief from the kind that only wounds?
In today’s passage, we follow Paul’s emotional journey after sending a sorrowful letter to the Corinthians. As he recounts his story, he teaches us why some truth-telling heals and restores while other apologies only reopen the wound.
Review
Paul is writing to the church he founded in Corinth. He has a troubled relationship with them. Some in the church have rejected him and do not think he is really an apostle. From chapter 1 he has been defending himself and his apostleship.
Last time we walked through 2 Corinthians 6:13–7:2 to ask what Paul means by “unequally yoked” and why that command sits inside his appeal to “widen your hearts.” I argued this is not a tangent but fits very well with the plea that comes both before and after it: open your hearts to the true gospel.
Paul is writing to a church of mixed believers and unbelievers. A group in Corinth claims to be Christians, but they continue to pursue a pagan lifestyle. Paul argues God’s people fear God. They know God will be merciful if they repent and follow him. Their pagan neighbors are taking the road that leads to death, and the people of God will not follow them. Because they are heading in different directions, they cannot be joined together.
What is the problem with being unequally yoked? Those who are taking the road that leads to death and those who are traveling the road that leads to life cannot travel together. We are headed in different directions and we are not on the same team. It is foolish to try to behave as if we are.
Paul’s concern is what the church is communicating. Being a believer means turning back toward God and agreeing with God that we have done wrong, that we need his mercy, and that he needs to show us the right way. It makes no sense to include people who will not repent, who will not turn from idolatry and immorality. It makes no sense to encourage them in their deception that they are on the right road when they are not.
Why does Paul Speak so Positively?
Imagine you found this statement Paul wrote to a church: “I am acting with great boldness toward you; I have great pride in you; I am filled with comfort. In all our affliction, I am overflowing with joy.”
You might think Paul was writing to a great group of believers. Too bad he could not speak that way about the Corinthians. But he did. He wrote that to the Corinthians in 2 Corinthians 7:4.
How do we reconcile his very negative words with his very positive words? We will sort that out today.
Paul returns here to the story he started in chapter 2.
The Travel Story Behind the Letter
Geography of the New Testament. If you have a Bible map, it might be handy to consult it.
If you don’t have a map, picture an upside-down horseshoe. The horseshoe is the land, and in the middle is the Aegean Sea. Ephesus is on the east side. North of Ephesus is Troas. Across the sea to the northwest is Macedonia, and below Macedonia to the south and west is Corinth in Achaia, which we would call Greece.
Ephesus is on one side. Corinth is on the other. To travel between them, you could go directly across the sea by boat, or you could go around the horseshoe on land, which took longer.
Paul was in Ephesus and went to Corinth for what he calls a painful visit. There was a man there who caused Paul great trouble. We do not know what he did, but the situation was so bad that Paul decided he had to leave. Presumably no one in Corinth helped Paul or defused the situation.
Paul returned to Ephesus and wrote what he calls his sorrowful letter. He had told the Corinthians he would visit them again. He originally planned to go across the Aegean Sea from Ephesus to Corinth, then travel north to Macedonia, and then come down again to Corinth before heading for Jerusalem and Antioch. He planned to visit them twice, once on the way to Macedonia and then again on the way back.
He did not do this because after his painful visit things were so bad he thought two more visits would only make the situation worse. Instead of visiting, he wrote the sorrowful letter. He sent Titus with this letter and stayed in Ephesus.
He was anxious to hear from Titus how the letter was received. So he went by land to Troas hoping to meet Titus on his return from Corinth. When he got there, he says he had an opportunity for ministry, but he was so upset about the situation in Corinth he could not stay. He kept going around the horseshoe and came to Macedonia, where he finally met Titus.
Paul began this explanation back in 2 Corinthians 2:12-23. At that point he stops. He does not say what happened. Instead, he breaks into a defense of his ministry that runs all the way to our passage in chapter 7. He reminds them the gospel he teaches is true and powerful. He says he is not adequate for such a ministry, but God has made him adequate. He has suffered many things on their behalf. He is a man of honesty and integrity and he loves them greatly. He urges them not to receive his message of grace in vain.
Last week we saw the culmination of Paul’s appeal. He says he has opened his heart to them and urges them to open their hearts to him. Now in our passage he concludes with the same idea: make room in your hearts for us (2 Corinthians 7:2-4).
This language makes it clear there is tension. You say “I wronged no one” when someone is accusing you of wronging someone. He has been defending his ministry and motives. He is urging them to abandon their negative feelings toward him.
He acknowledges the relationship is strained and that he has spoken strongly. His words could be interpreted as condemning them, but he says that is not his goal. He has strong affection for them and, in some sense, confidence in them.
Affliction in Macedonia
When Paul arrived in Macedonia, he still had not found Titus (2 Corinthians 7:5). Macedonia is a region, not a city. Paul founded the Macedonian churches of Philippi, Thessalonica, and Berea.
As he visits those churches, his sufferings continue. Externally he has conflicts with people in Macedonia. Internally he has fears for the Corinthians. Acts 20:1–2 says Paul went through the districts of Macedonia and gave them much exhortation. He is working while he waits, and people there are giving him a hard time. He does not say whether the opposition came from the churches, the synagogue, or the local government.
Titus Arrives with Good News
Titus finally meets Paul and reports how the Corinthians responded (2 Corinthians 7:7-16). We already know two things from earlier in the letter.
- The Corinthians did deal with the man who opposed Paul. In 2:6, the majority rebuked the troublemaker. They did not blow Paul off. They handled the situation well, which Paul calls their longing, mourning, and zeal for him. They were stricken by his letter and recognized the truth in his words. They dealt with the situation and wanted Paul to know they were not his enemies.
- There is still trouble in Corinth. Some accused Paul of hypocrisy and indifference because he did not visit as he said he would. There are factions. A minority disagrees with the majority and resists Paul.
The Corinthians could have responded to his letter negatively. They could have said, “Who do you think you are?” But they did not. They said, “Paul, you are right. We are on your side. We will take care of this,” and they did.
Think of how Titus must have felt. Things were so bad that Paul left abruptly. Then Paul sent Titus with a sorrowful letter that might have made them angrier. They might have beaten Titus and run him out of town. Instead, Titus was encouraged by their response, which in turn encouraged Paul. Titus was received well.
In 7:6 Paul speaks of God as one who comforts the downcast. By downcast, he does not mean clinically depressed. He is sorrowful that he had to write such a harsh letter, worried about their spiritual health, and weary from constant opposition. He is sad and rundown because of difficult circumstances.
I would translate this as “encourages” rather than “comforts.” Comfort is not wrong, but the sense is strengthening of resolve. It is looking at the situation and God’s promises, and realizing the situation is not hopeless. God encourages Paul by showing him that things were not as bad as he feared.
Godly Grief and Worldly Grief
Paul describes a common human experience (2 Corinthians 7:8-10).
Imagine you see a friend making bad decisions. You warn her. She pulls away and listens to people who misrepresent you. You pour your heart into a long message, and then you wait in silence, second-guessing every word.
Finally a mutual friend calls with good news. She read your message, agrees with you, and wants to talk.
That is what happened between Paul and the Corinthians. He wrote a strong letter that could have been misunderstood. He waited and worried. Then Titus arrived with good news, and Paul overflowed with joy.
Often these situations end in a breach. Both parties feel sorrow but stay convinced they are right.
That is what Paul calls the sorrow of the world that produces death. His harsh letter could have become one more nail in the coffin of their relationship.
But that is not what happened. The Corinthians had something to repent of. Paul pointed it out, and they repented. Their sorrow was according to the will of God.
“I do not regret it, though I did regret it” is deeply human. Sometimes we need to say things that make others unhappy because unhappiness is the door to life.
Godly grief is sorrow when the light goes on. We see our sin, recognize we are wrong, and want to be different. It leads somewhere. Paul says it produces repentance that leads to salvation without regret.
Worldly sorrow never turns. It is self-focused. It never learns. That path leads to death.
- The prodigal “came to himself” before he came home. His empty stomach exposed his empty heart, and sorrow moved his feet toward the Father (Luke 15:17–20).
- David does not just admit failure; he mourns a violated relationship: “Against you, you only, have I sinned” (Psalm 51). That is godly grief.
- Peter meets the eyes of Jesus, weeps bitterly, and then returns to the mission restored (Luke 22:61–62; John 21).
- Judas is the contrast. He feels remorse, but he never turns to the Lord with it (Matthew 27:3–5). That is worldly grief.
Sorrow is not the finish line. It is the gateway to repentance and salvation. Paul is not saying believers never look back with sadness over what sin cost.
He is saying that repentance produces no regret. Ten years into repentance, no one ever says, “I wish I had stayed in the dark.” Godly sorrow yields a life you will not regret.
Results of Grief
When Paul says they “proved yourselves innocent,” he does not mean they never did anything wrong (2 Corinthians 7:11-12). If that were true, he would not have needed to flee Corinth and write the sorrowful letter.
He is acknowledging that they are on the right track. Their misunderstanding did not stem from rejecting Paul. They wanted him to understand they still had zeal for him and his gospel. They feared he had lost confidence in them.
Paul says he did not write for the sake of the offender or the offended. His purpose was not to punish the wrongdoer or clear his own name. He wrote so that their earnestness for him would be revealed to them. He wanted them to confront the question: Will you side with the man who opposes my apostolic work, or does my proclamation of the gospel mean something to you?
Titus reported a whole list of responses:
- They vindicated themselves of being against Paul.
- They were indignant that anyone would think they had turned against Paul and the gospel.
- They feared that Paul had written them off.
- They longed for their relationship with Paul to be repaired.
- They had zeal for Paul’s ministry and the gospel.
- They punished the wrong and dealt with the man who had opposed Paul.
Titus’ Joy and Paul’s Confidence
Paul had boasted to Titus about the Corinthians, presumably when he handed Titus the sorrowful letter (2 Corinthians 7:13-16). Titus must have doubted how he would be received. The Corinthians might have turned on him.
Paul encouraged Titus that there were genuine believers in Corinth who would repent and respond to the truth.
After Titus left, Paul’s imagination seems to have gotten the better of him, and he feared a bad outcome. You can hear his sigh of relief: I boasted to Titus that you would respond well, and you did.
Reconciling Paul’s Mixed Tone
How do we reconcile the strong warnings and defensive language with the positive tone here?
On the positive side, the Corinthians did not explode when they got Paul’s letter. The majority acknowledged they needed to deal with the man who opposed Paul, and they did. They assured Paul that they were earnestly committed to him and his gospel.
On the negative side, a minority still opposes Paul. We will hear more about them later. Paul knows he is still criticized for not visiting as he said he would. The church still struggles with problems from its pagan background. Some still dabble in immorality and idolatry.
When to Speak and When to Stay Silent
This section raises practical questions. Do I write the sorrowful letter or not? When you see a Christian friend seriously in the wrong, do you have that sorrowful conversation that might make them angry and break the relationship, or do you stay silent?
Paul gives a helpful guide in 7:12:
2Corinthians 7:12 So although I wrote to you, it was not for the sake of the one who did the wrong, nor for the sake of the one who suffered the wrong, but in order that your earnestness for us might be revealed to you in the sight of God.
He did not speak up to make sure the wrongdoer got punished. His primary concern was not to make sure the offender got what was coming to him. Nor did he write for the sake of the one offended, that is, for his own sake. He was the one who had been offended.
This helps me examine my motives. Often I want to correct others so they will treat me better or so my life will be easier. I want the sense of victory that comes when the person who hurt me is proven wrong. Paul says that is not his motivation. He is not seeking personal vindication.
So I ask: What is my real motivation? If I am after winning the argument, vindicating myself, or making my life easier, I should stay silent and trust God to handle it.
Paul also wrote to awaken them. He wanted something in them to be revealed. He wanted to remind them of a truth they believe, namely, that Paul and his gospel mean something to them. He wanted to reawaken their grasp of the truth they had embraced.
Two guides emerge:
- Do not write the sorrowful letter to improve your own life, win, or feel vindicated.
- Do write when your aim is to awaken someone to the truth of the gospel and to improve their life before God.
We are all tempted to puff ourselves up by putting someone else down. In that situation, bite your tongue. Paul says he wept many tears writing this letter, but he wrote in the hope of awakening something in them.
In essence, we write the sorrowful letter out of love. If our motivation is to help the other person and point them to the truth of the gospel, then we speak.
Embracing Godly Sorrow
Paul talks about sorrow according to the will of God, the sorrow that leads to repentance. That sort of sorrow is a treasure. It is painful, but it leads to life. We should want the sorrow that leads to repentance, because repentance is something we will never regret.
If we think our words could cause the kind of sorrow that leads to repentance, that is ultimately a good thing. Be open to the idea that sometimes it falls to us to say the sorrowful words. The most loving action may be to point out the problem that leads to the sorrow that leads to repentance.
Godly sorrow is a doorway, not a destination. Walk through it, and help others find the way. You will not regret the turn.
Please listen to the podcast for more detail and explanation.
Next: 12 Why Gentiles Gave to Jerusalem (2 Corinthians 8-9 Background)
Previous: 10 Unequally Yoked: Understanding Paul’s Warning (2 Corinthians 6:13-7:2)
Series: 2 Corinthians: When Church Hurts
Resources to help you study: 2 Corinthians
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Podcast season 26, episode 11